Monday, June 12, 2006

What the Witch did...

Now that I can speak without offending a possible sister-in-law, I can disclose the long and the short of psycho.

Two weeks ago my in-laws came down from NY. And my Brother-in-law brought down a girl he had been dating for a short time. Long enough to know something was off, but not long enough to know how off. I have to say I did not like her from the second I laid eyes on her. She just seemed - well - too comfortable - no that is not it - too much like I owed her something for her presence. That is not it - but something was just wrong. Maybe it was the coke bottle glasses. Not sure.

My mother-in-law had spent 5 hours in the car with her and when she and Scott double timed it to the grocery store and left her with me - I knew it was going to be bad. Within 10 minutes I got the briefcase version of her life. She had spent 7 year in a relationship, of which only 2 were good. But she stayed in it because it was comfortable. She wasn't allowed to go out for her 21st birthday because the guy was younger and forbid her to go. She paid this guys child support and drove to NC to pick the infant up - by herself. She was "trolling" for a man when she met my brother-in-law. And even though they had only known each other for a short time she felt like she had known him all her life and she was so in love with him. (PUKE)

So at this time I think just about every bell, whistle, and red flag were going off.

She then proceeds to tell me she is 30 yrs old, lives at home, pays not rent, doesn't do her own laundry, doesn't make her bed, and her mother wakes her up for work. Translation - "I am a princess. And I expect that from everyone."

And expect it she did. She did not clear her plates, she did not help with dishes, she left dirty dishes all over the house, and generally did not lift a finger to do anything all weekend. It was a chore for her to give me her dirty towels - so I could sanitize them.

Fast forward to Saturday afternoon. We all headed to leesburg for some shopping. We left my brother-in-law to drive Witch and the rest of us drove in another car. All the way down I am watching in the rear view. She is chatting away and my brother-in-law has the sourest look on his face. I knew that this was not good.

So while shopping my mother-in-law turns up at the meeting place with bags gallery. I step up to help her with all of her bags while Witch just watches. She did not raise a finger to help. I decided that that was it. It was on!

We all went to dinner with some of Jeff's and my friends. It was a pitcher night and I kept pouring. OK so this was evil of me, especially because everyone can drink; and Witch is a light weight. After about 3 beers she was in a compromised state. After dinner we all ended up at the bar and a contest was put on the table. Witch decided that she was going to go head to head with A. I did try to tell her it was not a good idea. But while she was downing her Crown Royal with a water back, she decided that it was a good idea to call me a bitch. And when I called her on it she backpedaled. There were a few other exchanges but in the end, let's just say, Witch ended up in the bathroom trying to separate herself from her left lung all the while praying to the porcelain god of flushing and cold surfaces.

Keep in mind that this is all going on in front of my mother-in-law. And my brother-in-law's comment was priceless "If she wants to embarrass herself, more power to her, but it isn't buying her any favors."

In the morning A and I apologized for our intoxication and for anything we may have said that was inappropriate. But not Witch. No apology, no nothing.

So home she went and not a word of thanks to anyone. (*sigh*) oh well - at least she and her stage 20 clingerness is gone!


At 9:24 PM, Blogger n32 said...

So we drank a little to much it was for the mental health and well being of your brother in law. We had a headache to save him from many headaches and after all she is gone. Wahoo!!!!

At 10:35 PM, Blogger honeykbee said...

Aha! Mystery solved!!

Glad this bitchcraft was nipped in the (rather ugly) bud.

Way to take one for the team, A!

At 8:28 AM, Blogger MAD MAC said...


The best part of the whole thing she didn't say two words to me....

At 9:54 AM, Blogger Puffinlr said...

Just goes to show what can be accomplished with a little team work, ingenuity, and sacrifice! I raise my rum and coke and salute the team!


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